


Cat-astrophe

by dea_liberty



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:18:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dea_liberty/pseuds/dea_liberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis comes home to find Harry curled up in Louis' jumper on the couch. The difference between today and every other day is the fact that Harry has somehow been turned into a cat. Confusion, insanity and boys being boys - but at the end of the day, Louis finds out that things don't actually change all that much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat-astrophe

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I should start by apologising that this exists. And then I should go on to blame Vae for everything (including the title, okay). A huge thanks goes out to Kwen for the lightning fast beta, and to Stacey, Kate - and yes, Vae - for the...um..."love and support" as I cried into my cereal and actually wrote this! ILU guys.

Louis comes home to find Harry curled up in Louis' jumper on the couch. That in itself isn't all that strange; Louis often comes home to find Harry curled on/in/under - delete as appropriate - his clothes. It's not the sort of thing that usually makes him stop dead in the doorway and stare. Usually, it just makes him smile and brings about the urge to either leave Harry be, sleeping like a baby, or pounce on him _immediately_ and tickle him awake. 

Today, the sight inspires neither of those feelings in him. Today, there is absolutely nothing Louis can do but stand there staring. And then he stares some more. 

Today, Harry is a cat. An actual, real, four-legged, pointy-eared, long-tailed _cat_ with stupidly messy, windswept fur and - when cat!Harry there opens his eyes and blinks sleepily at Louis - Harry's stupidly green eyes.

"Holy shit," says Louis. "Hazza, you're a cat."

"Mew," says Harry. 

Louis does the only sensible thing and passes out. 

\--

The next thing Louis knows, he's staring at the ceiling and the cat - _Harry_ \- is staring down at him with a look of concern, pink tongue darting out and almost catching Louis in the eye. Louis blinks at him. Harry blinks back. Louis blinks again.

"Mew?" says Harry. Louis thinks it might be a question - something a little like "are you okay?" and Louis shakes his head. No, no, he's not okay. He's probably got a concussion and he's _definitely_ going crazy because he thinks his best friend is a _cat_.

"You're a cat," he says a little stupidly. What else is he supposed to say? What else could anyone expect him to say? _His best friend is a fucking cat._

"Mew," says Harry patiently with something that looks suspiciously like a sigh of someone who has suffered a great deal and bears it all with the patience of a saint. It also sounds suspiciously like someone settling in, ready to exert even more patience.  


"A _cat_."

" _Mew_." Harry gives him what the others like to call Harry's "oh Louis" look - the one reserved for the days Louis' acting less mature than usual and everyone else is getting a little annoyed. As it turns out, it looks almost exactly the same in cat form as it does usually.

\--

"A cat."

"Mew." 

They've moved from the floor by the door to the kitchen table - well, the table for Harry, the chair for Louis. Harry's gone from pacing to sitting and, finally, to lying down, head on his paws ( _paws_ , Jesus Christ), looking distinctly less patient and distinctly more bored with each repetition of this question and answer session. Louis doesn't really blame him. 

"A cat," he says for the four-millionth time. 

"Mew," Harry says and flips onto his back, giving Louis what would have been a terrifying glare. Except it was really not incredibly scary coming from a tiny ball of black fur. To add even more drama to the moment, he throws up his paws and covers his face. " _Mew._ "

"A c - okay, okay, moving on from that," Louis adds quickly because Harry moves his paws away from his face with intent and the kitty-death-glare-of-doom fixes itself on Louis' face. He gets the impression that if the repeats that statement again, he's going to find out exactly how sharp a cat's - _kitten_ , really, if he's being completely honest – claws are. Even Harry's patience, which they'd always assumed was somewhat never-ending when it came to Louis, apparently had its limits. 

"What the fuck do we do now?"

\--

"Zayn, Harry's a cat," Louis says as soon as Zayn opens the door.

"And this is news because...?" Before Zayn's even finished the sentence, Louis practically shoves Harry under Zayn's nose. Harry doesn't look impressed and Louis almost laughs at the way Zayn goes cross-eyed trying to get a good look at him. "What the fuck, Lou?"

"Harry." He pushes Harry a little closer to Zayn's face. "Is a cat."

"What?"

"A _cat_ ," Louis says emphatically - and Harry helps by licking Zayn's nose. Zayn splutters and takes a step back to stare at the ball of fur in Louis' hand. Harry stares back.

"Holy shit," Zayn says. "You're a cat."

Louis has never actually seen a cat deflate - but he's witnessing it first hand now. Harry gives the world's longest, most agonizingly suffering sigh, goes floppy in Louis' hand and says, "Mew."

\--

"We should…get Liam. And Niall," Zayn says as they watch Harry batting at a leaf on one of Zayn's potted plants. "I mean, Liam'll know what to do, right?"

The leaf retaliates by bouncing back to its original shape and smacking Harry in the face as it does. Harry staggers back and hisses indignantly.

"Oh sure," Louis says, eyes glued on Harry, not even sparing a moment to look at Zayn incredulously. "I'm sure there's a book or something about what to do when your bandmate turns into a cat."

Having suitably chastised the plant and got bored in the process, Harry moves on to stare at his reflection on Zayn's coffee table - and is subsequently distracted by an insect of some sort fluttering past him. Harry pounces, slips and goes sprawling, and Louis manages to catch him before he tumbles off the table completely. Within moments, Harry's struggling out of his grip to continue his hunt of the now-missing insect, weaving his way around Zayn's furniture, claws occasionally catching in the carpet.

They call Liam and Niall.

\--

"He's a cat."

"Yes."

"An actual _cat_."

"Yes."

"Wow."

They stare at Harry. Harry stares back at them.

"And you're sure it's _actually Harry_ and not just…a stray Harry's brought home?" Liam asks, and Louis just _looks_ at him, raises an eyebrow and directs their attention back at Harry again. Harry blinks at them - and then beams, absently patting an ear with one paw. "Yeah, okay, that was a stupid question."

"Yes," Louis agrees.

"He makes a cute cat," Niall says, stroking a finger over Harry's ear. Harry lets out a small pleased sound and immediately moves closer to Niall, batting his hand and demanding Niall pet him properly. 

"He made a cute cat when he was in human form," Zayn points out, and they all hum an agreement before falling silent.

Harry starts purring.

"Oh fuck," Louis says. "Harry's a _cat_."

\--

It turns out that things aren't actually that much different despite the fact that Harry is a cat. They spend the rest of the day on the couch watching DVDs, and Harry alternates between hunting shadows around the room (carefully watched by one of them to make sure he doesn't accidentally trip over himself and fall on something sharp) and sprawling in various places around the flat.

They try to play Mario Kart but Harry protests, yowling loudly and dramatically, batting and scratching and biting at their hands until Liam accidentally knocks him aside a little too hard. Harry looks at them, stunned for a moment, and then curls up into a small ball. He proceeds to breaks all their hearts by making the world's most pitiful noise. Louis reaches out to scoop him up into his arms and settles back onto the couch, game abandoned in favour of just watching TV. Harry eventually uncurls, flopping bonelessly on Louis' lap and purring happily as Louis pets him.

As Harry nudges his hand, demanding more attention, demanding Louis moves his hand to scratch behind his ear _just so_ , Louis realizes he's been played. He's been manipulated skillfully and with undeniable expertise.

By a cat.

\--

Harry refuses to sleep in his own room. He also refuses to sleep on Louis' floor. Or on the edge of Louis' bed.

Instead, he makes himself comfortable on Louis' pillow, wedged right up against Louis' head, tucked a little under his chin. The purring is a little distracting at first but after a while, it becomes more comforting than anything else, and Louis doesn't know which of them falls asleep first.

He _does_ , however, wake up with a mouthful of cat fur.

It's not the best start of the day, but when Harry curls up on his chest and starts purring again, Louis'll admit it's not the worst start either.

\--

Harry also refuses to be left behind when Louis figures that he should probably make a quick run down to Tescos. For a tiny little ball of fur, Harry does a lot of refusing. Louis looks down at the little ball of terror hissing at him from where Harry's standing - between Louis and the door - and sighs, exasperated.

"We need food, Harry," he tries to explain. Harry hisses. "How about I call Zayn and he can come sit with you for a while?" Harry hisses again. Louis _sighs_. "Harry, I know nothing about taking a cat out of the house." Harry gives him a very pointed look and stalks closer and, within moments, needle-like claws are digging into his trousers and he's forced to pick Harry up before a) Harry tears a hole in his trousers or b) Harry hurts himself trying to climb Louis' leg. Picking him up seems like the best solution.

As Harry settles smugly in Louis' arm, Louis realizes he's just been manipulated. _Again._

\--

The trip to Tescos is kind of a disaster. Animals aren't allowed inside and the lady behind the till spends a few minutes trying to get Louis to leave Harry outside. Louis ends up walking out of the shop, around the corner and back in again, Harry stuffed snugly into his jacket, one ear and his tail peaking out suspiciously.

He gives the lady - Greta, says her name tag - the cutest and most innocent smile he can muster, and she rolls her eyes and waves him in.

Then, Harry practically claws Louis' face off when Louis tries to buy cat food. Louis laughs and shoves Harry's face back into his jacket before he gets told off again because it's exactly the sort of reaction he was hoping for, and instead picks up cereal and milk.

He picks up a lot of milk.

He also adds some canned tuna to the basket, along with the usual loaf of French bread, ham, cheese and the rest of it. As they go pass the spreads, Harry makes a valiant attempt to reach a paw out for the Nutella, but Louis manages to intercept him and has to tuck him into his jacket with a little more care as they reach the check out line.

Greta, bless her heart, pretends she doesn't see Harry's tail or the incredibly unsubtle cat-shaped bulge in the front of Louis' jacket.

Louis ends up signing a slip of paper for her little girl who is apparently a fan of theirs. He really doesn't want to know what kind of story Greta's going to tell about this whole escapade, and he really hopes he never has to find out.

"Next time," he tells Harry as they leave Tescos. "I'm making Zayn catsit no matter how cute and innocent you try to look."

Unsurprisingly, Harry doesn't look even a little concerned.

\--

Harry decides that Louis' chest is a more comfortable place to sleep than his pillow. Louis stresses out for a while because he's a little afraid he's going to roll over and crush Harry by mistake, but figures it's Harry's own fault anyway. 

He doesn't crush Harry.

He _does_ wake up trying to breathe in cat fur.

He sighs and nudges Harry around, removing the ear from his mouth and the face from…well, his face. Harry makes a grumpy noise and settles back on his chest, never actually waking up. Louis goes back to sleep.

He wakes up with another face full of cat.

That is the exact moment that he realizes there is no way to win this battle.

And that's the exactly moment he decides that they _need_ to figure out how to turn Harry back.

\--

Deciding it and actually making it happen, as it turns out, are two completely different things.

"He's still a cat," Liam says.

Louis sighs. "Thank you, Captain Obvious," he replies, and they all go back to staring at Harry. Niall experimentally wiggles his fingers above Harry's head and Harry starts batting at them, going so far as to shift up onto his two back legs to try to reach. Finally, he gives up with a harrumph and flops back onto the table bonelessly.

"So…what do you think we have to do?"

"Um."

Louis was really hoping they'd be more helpful than this. He's pretty sure he could have sat around staring at Harry just fine on his own. They're scheduled to go on tour soon and Harry, in cat form, can't sing no matter what else he might be able to do. They've really got to start getting their acts together and figure something out.

"Where the hell are we even supposed to start?" Zayn asks. They all continue to stare blankly at Harry. Harry, either oblivious to their staring, immune to it, or just doesn't care about it, starts grooming himself.

"Did you…try the internet yet?" Liam suggests tentatively - but no one's paying much attention because Harry's still grooming himself and - he casually throws up a leg and licks his --

Louis groans, horrified. Liam does this weird little muffled gasp thing. Niall starts sniggering.

Zayn, laughing hysterically, gets out his phone and takes a video.

\--

They try the internet.

There is pretty much nothing useful at all about what to do when your bandmate and best friend turns into a cat. 

There is, however, a lot about how Harry is a cat. And edits that give Harry ears and a tail. There's also a lot that…well, Louis doesn't want to get into that.

Niall tweets a picture of Harry as a cat and gets a gazillion likes in the space of all of three minutes. Zayn posts the video.

By the time they go back to their respective flats, the internet believes they've adopted a kitten that looks exactly like Harry.

And Harry… Harry is still a cat.

\--

Day three, and Louis is no longer surprised when he wakes up with cat fur in his mouth and Harry curled up on him. He's becoming something of an expert at picking Harry up one-handed. He's pretty sure most cats would not be quite so happy at being carried around like that, but Harry seems perfectly content to let Louis pick him up. It's easier than watching where he's going all the time so he doesn't step on Harry by mistake anyway.

He puts Harry on top of the kitchen counter and puts the kettle on, making himself a cuppa. Harry watches him with undisguised longing and Louis finally caves, getting out a saucer and pouring a bit of his tea into it for Harry.

Harry licks it - and makes a face. A cat. Is grimacing at him. This is what Louis' life has become. Harry sits back on his haunches and flips his tail around himself, staring at Louis pointedly. Louis holds out for all of a second before he sighs and pulls out another mug.

Louis makes another cup of tea exactly how Harry likes it.

And, yes, he realizes exactly how well Harry's trained him. No, he doesn't want to talk about it.

\--

Louis drops Harry off with Zayn because he cannot and will not go through another Tesco-esque incident. He's pretty sure he's not famous enough that he's going to keep being able to get away with having a cat stuffed down the front of his jacket, and he's _really_ sure the bank will appreciate it even less than Greta-who-works-at-Tescos did.

He comes back to find that one of the boys has given Harry catnip. No one is admitting which one of them it is.

Someone. Gave. Harry. Catnip.

Harry is flopping uselessly around in a shoebox, batting at nothing, high as a kite, and Liam, Zayn and Niall all have equally guilty expressions on their faces. They're all also trying, unsuccessfully, to hide their phones from Louis' view. It turns out the Adventures of Harry the Cat on Catnip is pretty well documented; none of the footage actually tells Louis who's behind it.

He's just going to blame all of them. They are the most irresponsible bandmates ever.

In the box, Harry hiccups and paws somewhere to the left of Louis' hand as Louis goes to pick him up, and goes liquid in Louis' hand.

\--

As he waits for Harry to recover, Louis calls Harry's mum. She confirms that no, this has never happened before, and tells Louis to please not lose her son.

Louis gets the feeling that Anne is just humoring him and doesn't actually believe Harry's been turned into a cat. Anne probably thinks Louis' either high or crazy. Possibly both. He figures he's lucky he made a good impression early on because he thinks he's probably declining slowly in Anne's eyes.

He stares at Harry, who helpfully lets out a little snuffle and rolls over.

\--

The next day, Louis fully expects to wake up with a face full of cat.

Instead, he wakes up with a mouth full of hair - incredibly curly hair, at that - and a noticeably heavier weight than the last three days on his chest. He tries to simultaneously spit out the hair and shift the weight off him.

Harry mumbles and moves, tucking his head more securely into the crook of Louis' neck and curling his arm tighter around Louis' waist. Louis freezes when a leg slides comfortably between his.

That's the moment he realizes there's a very human - very _naked_ \- Harry wrapped around him.

"Um," he says.

Harry doesn't move.

"Well," Louis says to no one in particular. "This is different."

\--

When Harry wakes up, he tells Louis to make him a cup of tea and hops up onto the counter to wait.

Louis finds out that living with a human Harry is really not that much different to living with Harry as a cat. Except Harry as a human is much louder and more demanding than the cat ever was. He still demands to be petted, still puts Nutella in the shopping basket, still flops all over Louis' lap like he belongs there.

And he still sleeps in Louis' bed.

As it turns out, Harry's trained him well; Louis still doesn't know how to say no - and no, he doesn't want to talk about it.


End file.
